That Simpsons quote always makes me laugh.
The point is... umm... sometimes doctors are totally useless. Case in point - today, when I went back for a consult at the Gastro-Intestinal outpatient department, a good 3 months after my pH test/torture device session.
After waiting in the main reception for half an hour, and the secondary waiting area for another half an hour, I was called in to see a doctor who isn't "the" doctor, or even "my" doctor (the guy I am familiar with), so I spent the first few minutes explaining the entire medical history of my stomach since March last year when I first got sick. Don't get me wrong... the guy was lovely... but I'd rather speak to the guy who at least kind of knows me. Nothing personal.
Anyway... a few choice quotes from the 15 minute consult:
"I'll just see if we can get your pH test results" - umm... should these not be in my file already? It was 3 months ago, for heaven's sake. Plus I thought that was the whole reason I'd come in... to get the results... no? Prep, anybody?
"So what do you mean by dietary changes?" - gah. As I'd just explained before he said this, I have noticed that some foods make me feel sick when I eat them. Thus, I try to avoid them.
"And what do you mean by 'sick feeling'?" - cue explanation (repeated to death to previous doctors) of how I don't actually feel that I will throw up, but that it is more like nausea or difficulty digesting. Too low in the stomach to be acid reflux, etc...
"Ah, so if you feel sick it is probably from food coming back up the oesophagus, like acid reflux" - no, no, NO, no. I just explained it is precisely, exactly NOTHING like that. Cue frazzled nerves.
Me: "Well I was reading up on the symptoms and thought it might be hypochlorhydria... you know... low acid? Surely that would explain difficulty digesting red meat or greasy foods?" Doctor: "It could be... yes. Acid reflux has the same symptoms though"
note - I swear on everything holy that if one more doctor suggests it could be acid reflux I am going to scream. If it were acid reflux then surely all those fancy acid-blocking tablets would have helped, rather than making things infinitely worse?
"Well, your pH test is normal anyway, so if you're happy the way things are, then I'm happy. Maybe we'll schedule an ultrasound just to be safe. And some blood tests. But I think you are okay if you feel better with your diet changes."
Oh. My. God. Either I've miraculously cured myself by reading up on Ayurveda and basic nutrition for dodgy stomachs, or I'm a complete hypochondriac.
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2 comments:
Pesky quacks...the Irish Medical System is made out of twigs and lolly-pop sticks and staffed by feral half mad half mentally defective badgers. There I said it.
Oh poor you - you should charge the gov't what they pay that guy for your self-diagnosis :) Krish
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