I'm off down the country... here's a meme!

With The New Job and all, things have been a bit crazy and all over the place lately.  I'm really REALLY enjoying everything, but it's taken a while to adjust and find my feet.  As an attempt to unwind, B and I are headed down to Wexford to visit the sister-in-law-to-be and her family - you know, because nothing says "unwinding" like spending the weekend with 4 children under the age of 12, and an occasionally hyperactive dog.

In the meantime, here's a meme.

It’s not fall until:
The leaves start hitting the sidewalk, there's a crispness in the air (yet sunny), and the smell of peat fires follows me home from work.

Kelly Preston’s character in the movie For Love of the Game expresses her need to escape NYC because “Summer’s almost over, and I feel like I missed it.” What do you need to do in the waning days of summer for it to feel complete?
I need to try and get out as much as possible.  At home this would usually involve a road trip up to the Okanagan, but over here it's a bit different.  We didn't have much of a summer this year - no holidays, lousy weather, caught up in exams and course projects, etc - but I also like the arrival of autumn even more than the summer, so I'm pretty happy.

The US Tennis Open, one of four Grand Slam events in that sport, is currently in the quarterfinal round. If you could only attend one major sporting event what would it be?
The Olympic Men's Hockey final - but only if Canada was in it, obviously.  Failing that, the Stanley Cup Final, but again, only if the Canucks were in it.

Assuming that you write an anonymous or partially anonymous blog, by what non-physically identifying characteristics might you be identified in a bar?
Probably my laugh... I laugh a lot.  Like... All.  The.  Time.  Or my weird half-Canadian half-Irish accent.

Most blogs cover some sort of niche – personal, political, dating, culinary, etc. What topic, if any, would you like to address on your blog but doesn’t fit into your niche?
The Dublin music scene... there are so many great artists out there that deserve recognition.  But then, there are also excellent Irish music bloggers too, so they're probably better placed to write about the music scene.  I can content myself with writing about good gigs I've been to.

If you could manipulate the time space continuum and give as many as three pieces of advice to a younger version of yourself, what advice would you give and to what age of you?
Age 16:  "Don't bother with the science courses.  You're not going to end up being a doctor and it's the best decision you'll ever make!  Take history or law or something fun instead!  Who needs calculus?"
Age 21:  "Pretty soon you're going to have to make the hardest decision of your life, and break up with your best friend.  And yes, it will suck, and it really is a shame, but you've grown so far apart that you both realise it's just not working anymore.  And yes, you'll be sad, and years from now when you hear she's getting married and then having a baby, you'll really miss her... and that's alright too.  But you'll also make new, incredibly amazing friends who will always be there for you - so treasure them."
Age 25:  "Things will only get better from here.  I know this is the lowest of the low right now, and that you just want to pack it in and go home, but stick around and in a few years you'll be exactly where you want to be.  You'll surprise yourself with how strong a woman you really are."

How high are your walls? Who was the last person to scale them? What tools should would-be climbers have on their belt?
I'll admit they can be fairly high.  It takes a while to get to know me properly, because I can be a bit shy at first.  I'm often worried this comes across as me being snobby, and I hope it doesn't.  I suppose B was the last person, and I'm glad he did!  As for tools... well, being genuine, open and honest really helps.  I don't do fake people... I want to know REAL people.  And it helps if you're passionate about something... even if I don't share or agree with that passion, it's always nice to see someone care about something, and it helps me to learn new things!

The sexiest thing a man can say to you (or has said to you) is
"I'm so proud of you" - not in a parental type of way, but because it shows that he's had faith in me, believes in me and supports my dreams.

Being Thankful

Yesterday was Canadian Thanksgiving, and once again, I missed out on the annual tradition of enormous turkey dinners, picking out our Halloween pumpkins at Bear's Fruit Stand in Keremeos, and watching various relatives succumb to turkey-induced comas.

But that doesn't mean I can't be a part of the spirit of goodwill this holiday is all about!  And with that, I give you... Things for which I am Thankful.

1.  I am thankful that my hard work and perseverance over the past 11 months has paid off, and I now have a brilliant job.  I am thankful that I really enjoy getting up and going to work every morning.  I am thankful that I have a job with an organisation that I truly believe in, and that leaves me feeling incredibly positive at the end of every day.

2.  I am thankful for the love and support of my family.  Although by now I'm well used to living 5000 miles away from home, I'm thankful that we can talk nearly every day over Skype, and that they can still be involved in things like wedding planning, because it's sometimes lonely doing it without my family nearby.

3.  I am thankful for my friends.  I am so lucky to have a wonderful, uplifting and inspiring group of friends who love me just the way I am.  I'm thankful that even though we may be oceans apart, and not see each other for months (or in some cases, years), when we do finally see each other it's like we haven't been apart at all.  I am thankful that they believe in me, support me and encourage me when I'm feeling a bit low.

4.  I am thankful for B.  Evictor (not killer, mind you) of spiders, maker of some tasty dinners, garbage removal service extraordinaire.  As one of my mom's friends said, he's my protector.  I'm thankful that he's in my life, that he loves and supports me unconditionally, and always believes in me.  And I'm thankful that one day soon he's going to be my husband!

So I hope you all had a good Thanksgiving, wherever you were.  Eat loads of good food for me.  Personally, I had pizza for Thanksgiving this year.  Not quite the same, somehow.

Update!

Unfortunately my wee little blog seems to be getting neglected lately. It seems to be mostly due to the fact that I'm "working" again and so the days and weeks are flying by instead of progressing slowly and steadily. Honestly, I have no idea where June went and it's nearly July already! So I've decided to do a good things / piffling trifles recap of the last little while, before trying to post more regularly. Enjoy!

Good Things

1. My new "job" is great. The fact that I can tie my PR course project in to work is also great! I'm learning loads, mostly to do with software like Raiser's Edge, which is so ridiculously in demand at at the moment that I'll be fairly set when I finish the internship. That is, if I'm not able to wrangle a paid position out of the board! Fingers crossed.

2. As a kind of "thank you" for doing this internship I get to go to Ethiopia in November. Part of what I was working on this past week was finding out about local attractions in Addis Ababa and the surrounding area. Now I've been fairly diligent with this, and scoured the Lonely Planet, TripAdvisor and did a Flickr image search of all the places I found. Am now so excited at the prospect of going to Ethiopia I can hardly breathe. I love paid holidays to awesome places!

3. The organisation formerly known as my employers held a conference on Tuesday on the problem of sex trafficking and prostitution (delightful, I know!) at which the guest speaker, Victor Malarek, was someone I recommended! Clearly I still rock at that job even 8 months after I've left.

4. B and I have booked a consultation / engagement photo shoot with our first-choice wedding photographer this coming Tuesday. Again, am so excited I can barely breathe. I don't know what it is, but having an actual engagement shoot seems to move all this wedding stuff from the intangible to the realm of actual reality. As in, omigod we're actually doing this!

5. I am officially capable of waking up at 7.30am, commuting for 1 hour and 15 mins and NOT being sleepy OR grumpy (or any of the other dwarves, for that matter!)

6. B and the band are absolute rock legends, having supported Melophobia (fear of people named Mel? Fear of mellow people?) on the main stage at Whelans on Thursday night. They totally rocked a pretty crowded house and likely still have not come down off their post-performance high. And I am so incredibly proud of all of them it's ridiculous.

7. It's Pride Weekend! Rock the rainbows!

Piffling Trifles

1. Now that it's kind of warm and extremely humid, we've been leaving all the doors and windows of the apartment open wide. Result? We have random little flies in the living room. I hate flies. Get out of my house!!

2. I missed the Pride Parade due to a very important long distance phone call. Well worth it, though. I'll definitely catch the Pride Festival next year.

3. A whole day of sex trafficking and prostitution conferences is perhaps THE single most depressing way to spend a sunny Tuesday.

4. Potential Canadian wedding venues are crap at getting back to me about my enquiries. Don't tell me to email you for further information if you're not intending to write back!

5. Note to potential Irish venue: please please please, learn the difference between "its" and "it's"... oh, and "your" and "you're". I might just be that much of a grammar freak that the mistakes in your "newly updated" wedding brochure could be a dealbreaker.

So, as you can see things are definitely on the up. The piffling trifles I can live with, and the good things definitely outweigh them anyway, so I'm delighted.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to chase tiny flies around the living room with a rolled up newspaper...

Things I am thinking about

Yay! Insight into the inner workings of my brain!

1. Other people's holidays
As I write this, my parents are on their 7 or 8 week trek across Asia, via Turkey, Georgia, some of the countries ending in "-stan", and China. My skin has begun to turn a noticeable shade of green with envy, especially after doing a Flickr search of some of the places they'll be visiting. Being unemployed and poor is seriously hampering my ability to travel.

2. The Hockey
Ye Gods, what a dismal showing by the boys in blue (the Canucks, for my non-Canadian readers). Although what I love the most about their most recent loss, and subsequent booting out of the playoffs, is the level of shock and outrage being expressed by the fans. I mean... really? They do this almost every year! Some years they don't even make it this far! I always tend to approach the playoffs with excitement, but also a sense of "how will they manage to mess this up?" That way when they DO mess up, I'm disappointed, but not entirely surprised. Some say that means I'm not a true Canucks fan, but personally I think it means I'm one of the truest Canucks fans out there.

3. Being the fiancee of a rock star
On Sunday night, B and the band (Entheos) played a huge gig in Whelan's on Wexford Street. The venue was packed to the rafters and I (being the groupie that I am) sold 40 CDs. Everyone there was incredibly impressed with them, and I am nauseatingly proud to be engaged to such an incredible rock star.

4. Wedding(s)
Being engaged brings with it a level of questioning I've never experienced before, mostly from family and friends. Where is the wedding? When is the wedding? What about centrepieces?? (that last one was from my mom... who has assured me she will not be that crazy all the time, it was just the initial excitement). B and I haven't really figured anything out yet, apart from VERY tentative dates, the fact that we would like to have 2 events (one in Ireland, one in Canada), and a possible venue for the Canadian side of things. That's it. I mean really... I'm still getting hung up on calling B my "fiance" instead of my boyfriend.

5. PR Course and Jobhunting
It's going. Slowly but surely. Although I did get annoyed at the PR Course yesterday. We had an assignment due last Friday (although I had an extension til Monday due to family being over), so I spent ALL WEEKEND researching and writing the thing, handed it in on Monday, only to find out that more than half the class didn't do it (to be fair, homework is optional, but strongly recommended). But apparently our lecturer really wanted everyone to do it, so he's given everyone else A WHOLE EXTRA WEEK to get it done. And despite the fact that SOME of us handed it in on time... he won't tell us how we did until everyone's handed it in. I could just spit.

And that's where I leave you. For all my friends and readers in BC - get out there and vote today! I completely blanked the long-distance voting registration, so you'll have to change things up for me!

Blog-a-versary

(photo courtesy of B - they're mini cakes I made for his birthday)

Happy Birthday "Watch This Space"!

I can't believe it's been a whole year since I decided to start this little project of mine. I started WTS as a way of keeping in touch with people back home, and since then it's become a bit of a safe haven where I can vent, or mull things over, or share things about myself and my life.

So much has happened in the past year, and I'm in a completely different space from where I used to be. I moved in with B, and we continue to have a loving, supportive and often challenging relationship (in a good way). I went on holidays to Greece in June, and to Paris in November. I was caught up in the Dublin Floods that marked one of the worst summers (weather-wise) of my life. I lost my job in November and became one of the early casualties of the Irish recession. I've successfully maintained my sanity through 5 months of unemployment. I survived the Snowpocalypse that was Christmas in Vancouver. I became a student again and rediscovered the joys of lifelong learning.

And I've learned so much about myself, particularly over the past 5 months. I've learned that I generally try to put on a brave face and a strong, determined attitude, but that it's okay to let myself slip a bit and cry if I need to. I've learned that I don't have to do everything by myself - that sometimes it's okay to ask for help when things get to be too much. I've rediscovered a love of singing along with cheesy songs on the stereo while cleaning the apartment.

I'm not perfect. I'm only human. But I know that there are friends and family out there who love me and care about me nonetheless.

Thanks to everyone who has followed me this far. If you'd like to come out of Lurk Mode and leave a comment so I know who you are... well... I'd love that too.

Insomnia

Subtitle "...or why I am actually surprised that I'm pretty good at meditation".

The last few weeks have rarely seen me falling asleep before 3am. Despite cutting out my evening coffee, and despite the fact that my body may be absolutely exhausted and incapable of movement, the moment I try to shut my eyes, my mind goes into hyperactive overdrive.

I find this particularly frustrating because I've been trying to meditate regularly during the day, and can, in fact, sit still and calm for 10 minute intervals (as suggested for beginners by the nice Buddhist Centre people down the road). Nonetheless, my brain seems to think that sleep is for the weak and feeble - because apparently there are a million things to be done or thought of at 3am that absolutely, positively must be done Right This Very Second.

Ahem.

Here is a select sample of random thoughts that have kept me up over the past few nights. And no, I'm not exaggerating. It's really this bad.

Me - Ok brain... time for sleep.

K's brain - But you have to finish that letter to your landlord, because otherwise your lease is due for renewal in a few weeks and they won't know that you want them to lower your rent! How are you going to pay rent if you don't have any money? You really should call that recruitment agency and apologise for not taking the position they offered you.

Me - Yes but we've been through this - I don't even know how to operate a switchboard, and that's all the job was!

K's brain - Yeah, but who knows? Now maybe they'll never call you ever again because they think you're some sort of job-rejecting person. Nobody wants to hire someone like that.

Me - Ok, well I'll give it a few days and ring the manager again. Now can I sleep?

K's brain - But what about the money? Don't you feel bad for sponging off B all the time? And you weren't very nice to him last night... all he did was say he didn't like your dinner. Actually, scratch that. Your dinner was awesome. He was totally wrong to say that he didn't like it.

Me - Brain, we've been through this already.

K's brain - Well maybe you should wake him up and apologise again. Or apologise for not being able to go to Poland with his family like you'd planned. That's totally your fault even though you have no control over your PR course schedule so you should definitely feel guilty about that. I think you should apologise to B right now for that. Because did you see how disappointed he looked when you told him you probably couldn't go?

Me - I know but he's asleep right now. Asleep. Like I should be.

K's brain - I think you should definitely be working on ideas for your course project. Could you actually use your former place of employment? Don't you think that'd be a bit weird? Maybe you could use B's brother-in-law's company. That'd be cool. I have about a million ideas for them which I will now list for you in no particular order.........

So this has been my life for the last few weeks. Then, if I'm really lucky, once I get to sleep I will be woken up by B, either snoring, or throwing himself across me in an attempt to save me as our car hurls off a cliff (in his dream, mind you). No joke. It happened the other night.

This week's inspirations

I've seen a lot of really inspiring videos lately, and I wanted to be able to share them with everyone (and also keep them in one place for easy access!)

I hope you enjoy them as I have!

The Lost Generation
I admit, when I first watched this I didn't fully understand what was going on. I thought "How bleak and depressing!" but halfway through I finally got it. The video touches on many of the issues that I've come to realise are incredibly important to me - family, friends, experiences... and that I do not want my life to revolve around the quest for money or power.

Great Work
As a follower of David Allen (of Getting Things Done fame) on Twitter, I discovered this short video from one of his tweets. Find Your Great Work is a book by Michael Bungay Stanier, and the video encourages you to be ruthless and persistent to successfully get "great work" in your life. Since becoming unemployed I've alternated between two mindsets: the "sticking to my guns and not compromising my beliefs" model, and the "beggars can't be choosers" model. Ultimately, although the former has yet to pay off, it leaves me determined and positive, as opposed to the latter, which often leaves me in a funk.

Did You Know?
This video came to my attention via an old friend from high school. I must have watched it at least 10 times now, always amazed by the statistics and sheer volume of information they have managed to condense into 5 minutes. It almost makes me want to run away and work on a farm somewhere, whilst reminiscing about the good old days...

What about you? Do you have any videos you find inspiring?

New Season, New Year, New Me

Happy Equinox! And also Happy Nowruz (Iranian New Year)!

I don't know what it is, but over the past few days I've detected a noticeable change in... well... everything. The sun in shining, trees and flowers are blossoming, my little herb garden has started to sprout, and the other day I heard little songbirds outside. Honestly! I live by a motorway and a major train line and yet somewhere there are birds singing their hearts out. I love it.

Everyone seems happier too. B and I went down to Tipperary for an extended weekend (he took Monday off since Tuesday, St Patrick's Day, is a holiday in Ireland) and had a wonderful time with his parents. Although the first couple of days were a bit grey, we went out to the gardens at Birr Castle for a nice long walk, and the next day we drove round and round the countryside, and up into the Slieve Bloom mountains. St Patrick's Day was bright and sunny, and so we went into town to watch the parade. Everyone was happy and smiling, with none of the drunken horrors that we could have expected in Dublin.

It was perfect, and I've got the photos to prove it.

Since we got back I feel like I've got a new lease on life. Sure, I'm still jobhunting and collecting enough rejection letters to wallpaper our apartment, but I'm also getting a better idea of what I want to do with my life. I'm really excited about my upcoming evening course in Public Relations and Event Management too, as I know it'll help me on my path to getting what I want out of life (particularly career-wise). I've also found a brilliant recruitment agency who genuinely want to do everything they can to help me find a job, which was a huge boost to my self-esteem and self-confidence yesterday.

It's as if the last few months were a kind of "hibernation", where I was able to take a "time out" on my life, reflect, reassess, and then come out strong and revitalised.

I guess that's the whole point of spring, and of Nowruz. I think these guys might be on to something. Celebrating the New Year at the moment when (at least the northern half of) the world comes out of a long, dark, cold season and into light, rebirth and warmth does make a lot of sense!

What's in a name?

Names are important.

I say this based on experience. The experience of being a kid whose parents named her remarkably close to her little brother, causing endless confusion at doctors' offices, dentists' offices, in pharmacies, you name it. No, that file is not mine. It's my brother's. I'm the female KF. Yes, there is a difference.

The experience of being a kid whose surname was so uncommon that ANYONE in the world with the same last name is automatically related to me somehow. A surname that very few people can pronounce correctly on their first go. No it's not Foster, or Fraser, or Fielder... not even close, Miss Receptionist/Secretary/School Nurse.

And yet... as I've grown up I've learned to say "Close enough", with a resigned smile. And I've also learned to love both of my names. (My middle name is a whole other story - does ANYONE like their middle name?)

Conversations with various female friends over the years have often turned to the ever-controversial subject of what to do with one's name when getting married. Several friends (hardcore feminists, though evidently not the "man hating" type!) swore up and down that they'd never change their name... that their maiden name was an essential part of their identity as a woman. And yet each and every last one of them are now Mrs Insert-Husband's-Last-Name-Here.

(edit: And so begins the attempt to get my foot out of my mouth) Ok, so I'm worried that in my attempt to discuss a fairly volatile issue I may end up offending someone. Don't get me wrong... I do understand what a personal, and often difficult, decision changing your name is, and that no one should make such a decision a spur-of-the-moment one. Perhaps, not having had to deal with this situation firsthand, I'm not in the best position to comment.

Personally I haven't made any binding decisions either way on the issue. I worry that we F's are becoming an endangered species, but there is also something to be said for having a name everyone can pronounce. I've thought about the slightly pretentious option of the hypenated last name, as well as the trend of taking your maiden name as another middle name. And I'm still left clueless.

I guess I'll wait and see when the time comes.

In case you're wondering what got me started on this topic, it was a post by Vancouver Sun blogger Douglas Todd on the possibility of removing the "British" from British Columbia (my home province) or changing the name entirely. The two posts can be found here and here. Apart from the occasional racist tirade I used to pick up whilst doing media monitoring at my old job, I've never seen such a polarising article. Commenters seemed to be either vehemently FOR or vehemently AGAINST a change in name.

And yet I can't help but wonder, much like my feminist friends, how many of these people would go along with a proposed name change for the province, perhaps with a shrug of the shoulders and a resigned sigh?

Conundrum

Ok blogosphere... I need opinions, and lots of them. Here is my situation:

If this is not your first time reading WtS you'll know that about three and a half weeks ago I finished up at my old job. You'll also know that I've been loving the unemployed life, including all the newfound health benefits.

Cue the possible spanner in the works.

The other day, B came home and said that work is looking for someone to help out downstairs, a few days or afternoons a week in the run-up to Christmas. "Someone" can safely be translated as "me". They're willing to pay as well, which is of course an added bonus.

So what's the problem, you might ask? To be honest, I'm not entirely sure, but it does feel like something is holding me back. I'm hesitant. Why? Well... I've got the pros and cons list in my head and I suppose it's equally balanced.

And so I'll leave it to my readers out there, wherever you are. Would you say "money is money and I liked that place" and go for it, or would you think "I've been so relaxed and healthy whilst unemployed that I can't see this opportunity being beneficial"?

I'll let you know which way I decide to go...

High School Revisited

Sunday is my official 10 year high school reunion. (edit: it's actually on Saturday, not Sunday - can't keep my dates straight!)

Unfortunately, being in Dublin as I am, I've had to send my apologies and will probably spend the day hiding from the rain and the cold that comes with Octobers spent in Ireland.

But it's got me thinking, in what could pass for nostalgia, about my high school days. I wasn't a huge fan of the place, being one of those geeky girls that didn't quite fit in with the "in crowd" who would, if my life was a movie, end up tutoring the stand-offish but really very sensitive captain of the football team who would then end up taking me to the prom, where I'd be transformed into the beautiful princess the viewers always knew I was.

Well, life doesn't actually work that way most days. I went to the senior formal (we didn't have "the prom" at our school) with my friends. I'm still not sure if any of the football team even knew my name. And we had the time of our young lives.

But it makes me realise how far I've come from that shy, slightly nerdy girl in high school. I've travelled to far flung places, lived in several, and had experiences many people would only dream of. Most of the people I now count as best friends I didn't even know in high school, and they all helped to shape me into the person I am today. In grade 12 I wanted to go into medicine so I could be a psychiatrist. Today I'm still curious about the way people think and why, but I am working in a hugely rewarding field and I love the feeling that comes from the knowledge that I'm making a difference.

I'm not married. I don't have kids. I still rent an apartment, because I don't own my own property (just as well given the current economic climate!) Any jobs I get are ultimately tied to funding constraints so I'm not even "set for life". I have a meagre savings that I'd prefer to blow on traveling the world. I have friends and family that I love dearly, and who love me too, just for being the person I am. I've made mistakes in life, and I've been hurt, but each mistake has made me a better person - a more real person.

And I wouldn't change that for anything.

Not even to have been the most popular girl in my high school, ten years ago.

Wanderlust

With the absolutely rubbish summer that we've had over here this year, I must confess that true to form, my feet are getting itchy again. I think it must be a combination of things that are pushing me to pick up my passport and my traveling backpack and get on a plane to who knows where.

For a start, as of... well, as of last year actually, Ireland is now the place I have lived in longest since I was 17 years old. Now in my mid-to-late 20s I have close friends who have not known me to be anything other than a vagabond... wandering around the world on a whim. In my own defense though, I should point out that most places I go to LIVE, rather than just to travel for the sake of traveling. Although I've done my fair share of that as well.

The second "push factor" is my current employment situation - namely, I'm almost due to be made redundant, which means either an unlimited "vacation" or at the very least a couple months' holiday before making the smooth transition into another job. So either way, I'd be looking to go traveling. :)

I've managed to save up a fairly respectable amount of money which I can't even use to buy a house or anything (not being an Irish citizen or permanent resident I'm not allowed a mortgage), so I figure why not?

The problem is that I want to go somewhere different. I recently came across a company called Wild Frontiers, who specialise in small group tours to obscure destinations. What appeals to me is that they give a decent percentage of their profits to the local communities - so, for example, a local driver will make enough money in one 16-day trip to send 2 children to school for a year and feed his family for 4 months. I like that.

My top destinations? Syria, Jordan, Egypt, Iran, Pakistan and Afghanistan.

Yes... they'll take me there. Brilliant. Where's my passport?